What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize