she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
