Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
