This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
