Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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