I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize