people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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