I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
