I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
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