another moral hangover. fuck.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
