Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
