my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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