it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Randomize
