I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
