and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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