Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
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