I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
