i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
