Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
My Sexting was not on an AP level
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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