There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
