i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
