You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize
