I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
