I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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