Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
