remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
