he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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