So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
