the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize