Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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