we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
