so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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