so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
