Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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