dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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