quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
