I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
