I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
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