We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
