if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
