Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
The air taste purple.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize