I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Randomize
