The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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