We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize