Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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