weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
