His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
