You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
