Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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