Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
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