Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
