I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize