He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
