You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
