i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize