its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
