we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
