Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
