If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
