So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
